The path to a happier life as a manager and a more positive outlook on your workday depends more on what you DON'T do than what you do. Therefore, consider what happens if you stop:
People make mistakes. The employees do not live up to your expectations. The supplier does not deliver on time. There are many things you can blame others for because you yourself get into trouble based on their actions or lack thereof. But you can also choose to take the blame yourself. Maybe you didn't instruct enough for the employee to live up to your expectations, maybe you didn't give enough time, and maybe you expected too much too quickly. There are many things you can take responsibility for yourself. Taking responsibility for yourself strengthens you, and you will inevitably focus on doing better next time. And when you get better, you automatically get happier.
Be yourself. It's not your business suit, your fast car, your title or what you've achieved that makes people like you. They might like your stuff, but that doesn't mean they like you as a person. A superficial relationship is not worth picking up. Relationships based on honesty will make you happier, and you don't create them by trying to impress.
If new challenges make you afraid or insecure, you tend to cling to the familiar, even though you know it's not very good for you. Sticking to what you think you need doesn't make you particularly happy. When you let go and try new things – even if it requires overcoming – you are guaranteed to be happier. Even if you don't achieve what you want, the effort makes you happy because you have overcome your insecurities.
When you interrupt others, you are actually saying to them: "I am not listening to what you are saying, but concentrating on what I myself have to say next." If you want to be liked and not be considered shallow and self-centered, listen to what the people around you are saying. Focus on what they say and feel free to ask clarifying questions. It will give you a much greater understanding of what is being said, and you will be regarded as a good listener and conversational partner. It will make you happy.
Your words have power – especially over yourself. If you complain about your problems, they are guaranteed to get bigger, and that doesn't make you happy. If something has gone wrong, don't spend a lot of time complaining about it. Instead, make an effort to solve the problem. Unless you want to complain forever, you're going to have to do something about the problem. So why waste time? Do something about it immediately. Talk to others or to yourself about how you will solve the problem rather than talking about what went wrong. It makes you happy, and you will also experience joy in encouraging others to do the same.
You are the boss. You guide the shot safely forward. Yet the only thing you really have control over is yourself. If you make a stubborn attempt to control other people, you are sending a signal that you, your goals, your dreams, and maybe even your opinions are more important than theirs. Plus, control often requires coercion, authority and pressure. Features that won't necessarily make you happy. Instead, find a positive solution and get people to follow your path by showing them confidence. They will work harder, have more fun, and create better results and better functioning teams. And you will all be happier.
You have a high education. You have many years of experience. You have experienced many things, climbed mountains and fought dangerous dragons. But that doesn't make you smarter or better than others. It makes you unique, without comparison, a loner, but ultimately "just" yourself. Just like everyone else – including your employees. You are all different, not better or worse, just different. Therefore, learn to appreciate the differences you have, rather than criticizing people for what they can't do. You will experience seeing the people around you in a different light, and that makes you happy.
Criticism has a close relative – the sermon. They are both about judging others. The higher you rise in the ranks, the greater the tendency for you to become more knowledgeable and dictating. At some point, your employees will have enough and stop listening to you. And who will be satisfied with that? Instead, use your knowledge to create a good foundation for your employees so that they can follow you and respect you and the way you lead them. It will make you happier.
The past is valuable and it allows you to learn from your mistakes and the mistakes of others. And then you have to let the past be the past. It's easier said than done, and it requires you to be good at focusing. Focus on what went wrong or well and use it to correct or make it even better the next time a similar situation arises. It makes you happy. You can learn from both good and bad experiences, and the trick is to learn from them, rather than dwelling on them – this prevents you from looking forward.
We are all uncertain about the future in one way or another: what is going to happen and what is not going to happen? How do the employees accept the new changes? Can I live up to their expectations? At first it is easier to hesitate and hold back. Wait for the right time or find more alternatives. In the meantime, the days, weeks, months and maybe years go by. And they took your dreams with them. So don't let your insecurities hold you back. Get things started today. If you want to expand your market, launch new products, move on to another job, start your own business, take the first step now. It makes you happy.
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