No matter who you are or where you work, there will come a time when you have to work with someone you don't like. This person can be a customer, a consultant, a colleague or your boss. Such negative relationships require a lot of energy and it is likely that you will find working with these people stressful. They can reduce your productivity by wasting your time and energy, or bother you with stupid remarks. A negative collaboration leaves you emotionally drained or frustrated, and in the long run, it may even make you want to leave your job.
In this article we will look at how to learn to work with people you don't like. And on how to maintain a professional tone and productivity despite the obstacles that the other person's behavior may create.
An imaginary example: Your boss has just asked you to work on a new project. But there is a problem – she has put you together with Jørgen, whose behavior you just don't like. Jørgen's skills are crucial for the project's goals, but he is also sarcastic, he makes negative comments at your meetings, and he often does not respond to your e-mails. You find his behavior frustrating, but you really want to work on this project. So how can you work effectively and professionally with him?
Teamwork is a well-known and widespread way of working around Danish companies. The format works really well and many projects are designed to be solved in teams. The team is put together based on the employees' competencies in relation to the task, but even if the competencies complement each other, your personalities do not have to. Maybe you have a guilty conscience that you don't like your colleague? But that's completely normal. We all have different values and habits, and sometimes they are so different that they collide with a bang. Especially when we spend all working days of the week together.
But fortunately there is something you can do yourself to have a less stressful and frustrating everyday life.
We have taken inspiration from the following five good tips for a more professional and productive collaboration www.mindtools.com
Start by thinking about why you don't like this person's behavior. What specifically does he do that annoys you? Is it possible that the negative or annoying behavior reminds you of a certain quality about yourself that you don't like?
For example, you might not like a colleague because he gossips about people. You may have this bad habit yourself, and you hate that you are still tempted to gossip. So this colleague's lack of character is a constant reminder of your own problems.
Alternatively, this person reminds you of an annoying person you once knew and stirs up old feelings. Or maybe his way of working differs significantly from your own. Or you communicate completely differently and you feel you are missing out on important information.
It can be challenging to look at a colleague and figure out what it is about them that you don't like. But if you are willing to be honest with yourself, you can become more self-aware by trying to understand this person.
The person may have several character traits that you actually like. But the chances of you seeing them are slim if you only focus on the negative. Therefore, try to put yourself in the person's shoes to find out which behavior or personality traits in them you like or simply relate to. And try to understand why the person acts the way he does. There may be valid reasons why this person acts in a negative way – for example, he may have too much on his ears, or he may have health or family problems. You must take that into consideration. It can also be useful to learn something about human interactions. The better you understand the different roles that people play and why they play them, the better you will be at improving a bad relationship.
Spend time with the person who annoys you - ideally in an informal setting such as lunch in the canteen or at the summer party to gain a better understanding of his perspective and motivation for acting the way he does. It may seem like an unpleasant task, but getting to know him better could be the key you need to overcome your reluctance in the relationship.
Choose a time and place where you can talk privately with the other person. You can use the following points to find a solution:
Such conversations can be challenging. Consider role-playing with a colleague to prepare for the interview so that you are more confident in your case. Be careful not to be aggressive or blaming - this can be seen as bullying.
Not liking another person is a powerful feeling, and it's easy to feel tense and agitated when you're with your colleague. It can be distracting as well as uncomfortable, especially when the emotions affect your other tasks. You can reduce these feelings by changing the way you react in tense situations. Learn to manage your emotions so that you can react with confidence and dignity in difficult situations.
If you are in a negative situation with another person, immediately try to calm yourself: go away for a moment and come back with new energy, take a deep breath. Also, make sure you don't let your negative mood affect the way you treat others.
Relaxation methods such as yoga or meditation can help reduce stress and negativity and promote self-awareness. Regular exercise will also help you manage stress at work, especially if you are able to exercise before you start work.
Sometimes a conflict can break out between you - especially if the relationship is hostile or tense. It's a good idea to learn conflict resolution skills to resolve these issues quickly and professionally.
It's tempting to share your dislike of another person with colleagues and spend time belittling that person's personal shortcomings. But remember that gossip can destroy morale. If you talk bad about your colleagues - no matter how unpopular they are - it will affect your reputation. If you need to talk about poor working conditions, approach your boss.
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