What characterizes dialogue?

Dialogue is characterized by a mutual and equal exchange in a conversation. You take turns to have the floor, and you take turns listening to each other. You try to mutually understand each other's ideas and points of view, and both/everyone's points of view contribute equally. The main advantage of dialogue in a group is that it activates the collective creativity of the group, which leads to a better decision-making basis and better decisions.

In a debate you also exchange views, but here the attitude is more that there are "right" and "wrong" positions - and a debate easily becomes about "convincing" the other participants of the correctness of one's positions. The listening process is thereby lost.

When you hold a meeting in a staff group, you often want to debate instead of having a dialogue. What comes out of having a dialogue and a debate, respectively, is different. The dialogue opens up the conversation so that everyone has the opportunity to explore different points of view. A debate often shuts down a conversation by trying to narrow down options and ideas to a few.

There are 3 conditions that need to be met in order to promote dialogue/reflection in a group and thus open up new understandings:

1. The participants must put their opinions/suppositions on “stand by” so that they are able to fully hear what the other participants are saying.
2. Questions are only asked for the purpose of creating greater clarity.
3. The participants must be willing to see each other as partners - there must be equality in the exchange.

One person must take the role of facilitator with the aim of monitoring the process and intervening if the dialogue turns into a debate along the way.

The following "traffic rules" must be observed:

There must be equality.  Everyone gets an equal amount of time to come up with their ideas and talk about their guesses. When one speaks, no one interrupts. Questions can be asked if there is something that needs clarification, but only when the person has finished speaking.

Depending on the size of the group, everyone must be heard at least twice.

be aware: Listen, listen and listen. Get any the person speaking to elaborate on his statements: "What else do you think about this?", "What other ideas do you have?" The aim here is to get the person to think so deeply about things that they end up making contact with new ideas, new knowledge and their intuition. It is important to know that you as a listener cannot listen at this deep level if you are thinking about your own agenda at the same time. Therefore, you must park your ideas for a while.

Since you know it will be your turn to speak later, you can wait to express your ideas until it is your turn.

Questions: The purpose of asking questions can also be to dissolve limiting attitudes/assumptions. The questions should be open and expanding. Are there views/assumptions that prevent you from seeing new possibilities?

Emotions: It is important to recognize when people are passionate about something and express their positive energy. Avoid playing down enthusiasm and passion. Allow feelings to be expressed. Both the positive and the negative. There must also be room to express frustration and be heard in it.

Circle time – a way to reflect in the staff group

Metaphorically speaking, one way to distinguish between dialogue time and debate time is by calling dialogue time "circle time" and debate time "triangle time".

It works as follows. A conscious choice is made that, at the meeting in question, there must be dialogue and space for reflection, instead of conducting the meeting as a debate. You start with "circle time" and finally switch to "triangle time". The participants are informed about the structure of the meeting.

Allowing dialogue time in a group process/decision-making process opens up reflection, you build on each other's ideas, and you feel recognized and heard as an employee.

The rules for "circle time" are as follows:

• Everyone in the group is given the time they need to talk about the topic being discussed, without interruption from other members of the group.
• The dialogue continues around the table clockwise. When one person finishes speaking, the next person continues. There is no discussion. Clarification questions may be asked.
• Everyone, after listening to everyone else and having said what they wanted, has another chance to speak. They may change their position based on what they have heard, or they may make additional points on the topic. Depending on how far the process is towards a conclusion, a third dialogue round can be chosen.

At the end of the second or third round, the group leader checks if the group is ready to move on to “triangle time.

When the switch is made from "circle time" to "triangle time", the rules change. The individual participants are encouraged to speak for the position they have arrived at after the various rounds that have taken place. If necessary, the group can go back to "circle time" before making a decision. During the entire process, it is good to be aware of how the organisation's value base fits together with the subject being discussed.