We would like to give you insight into how you can use the feedback you receive in a constructive way, so that it contributes to your self-insight and to achieving your goals. At the same time, the feedback matrix that we review here can be used in relation to your employees, so that they get the most out of your feedback and use it constructively afterwards. A typical feedback situation that most people are familiar with can look like this: The boss gives positive feedback on the task that the employee has solved very well, but she expresses her concern about a deadline that she believes should be shorter. The employee argues for his choice of deadline, but accepts the negative feedback and they agree on a solution.

A solution is found based on the feedback that is given, but does this also mean that the feedback works? How can we know if the feedback we give actually works the way we want it to? When we receive feedback, two things usually happen:

• We focus on the positive feedback and would like to reinforce it. It is our spotlight and we enjoy basking in it.
• We accept negative feedback, but we try to explain or justify it. Sometimes we decide that the person giving the negative feedback is wrong and we dismiss the criticism.

In both cases, the feedback often does not have the desired effect. It requires good personal insight to take the feedback to heart and start working with it rather than going back to work as if nothing had happened.

The feedback Matrix

The feedback matrix shown below is a useful tool when you want to examine what both positive and negative feedback means to you and how you can use it constructively. The matrix allows you to work with the comments you receive. It gives you insight into how you can use the feedback to work towards your goals.

Download the feedback matrix in a word document:

Feedback can mostly be placed in one of the categories in the matrix:

Positive/Expected - We often have an idea of what we are good at because we get regular positive feedback on those areas or tasks. When you need to be constructive on the basis of this recurring feedback, rather than not acting on it, you can ask yourself:

• How can I celebrate being good at this?
• How can I use this ability to be more productive or be more personally satisfied?
• How can I use this ability to help others who are not so strong in the field?

Negative/Expected - If we are completely honest, we are often well aware that there are areas where we can do better and where we receive negative feedback. But it can be difficult to improve in these areas without help. You can use the negative feedback constructively by asking yourself:

• What can I do in advance to overcome this concern?
• Have I been successful with it?
• What other steps can I take to achieve the results or changes I want?
• If I don't get these changes made, how will it affect my work or personal life?

Positive/Unexpected - When we get unexpected positive feedback, it's like getting a gift that we didn't know would come. It gives a nice feeling that someone has thought of us - we are happy and perhaps touched by the nice gesture. The same goes for unexpected positive feedback. When the joy has subsided and you want to use the feedback constructively, you ask yourself:

• Why was I surprised to hear this?
• Is it past experiences that have caused me to forget this ability or strength?
• How can I celebrate this newfound ability?
• How can I use this ability to improve my life?

Negative/Unexpected – This type of feedback is perhaps the most difficult to receive and understand. But it can also be the greatest source of self-insight if we are open to using it. Unexpected feedback is often directed at pages that we don't want to admit we have. We may not be ready to face them, and they evoke strong emotions. But when we learn to handle them, we can go a long way, e.g. by asking:

• Do I need more information for the feedback to make sense?
• What help do I need to deal with the consequences?
• What can I do here and now to remedy the problem or get closer to a solution?
• When I make improvements in this area, how will it affect other areas of my job?

When we use feedback constructively, we work with our self-insight, and when we see feedback as a step in the right direction towards our goals, we get the best out of it.

The Feedback Matrix can help you get the most out of the feedback you receive. It challenges you to take advantage of the positive / expected, to work harder on the negative / expected, to celebrate the positive / unexpected and to delve into the negative / unexpected.